hunger not of the belly kind, that's banished with bacon and beans,
But the gnawing hunger of lonely men for a home and all that it means;
For a fireside far from the cares that are, four walls and a roof above;
But oh! so cramful of cozy joy, and crowned with a woman's love
-Robert Service
I will not offer to the Lord my God whole-offerings that have cost me nothing...
Matt. 19:12 12 For
there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who
have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live
like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can
accept this should accept it.”
Isa. 54:5 5 For your Maker is your husband—
the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.
1 Cor. 7:34, 35 An unmarried woman or
virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted
to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
Loneliness
1. Be still and know that He is God.
2. Remember that you are not alone.
3. Give thanks.
4. Refuse self-pity.
5. Accept your loneliness.
6. Offer your loneliness to God.
7. Do something for somebody else.
A little quiet reflection will remind me that yes to God always leads in the end to joy. We can absolutely bank on that.
It doesn't really matter whether the man is getting along in life. He may be president of Exxon. So what? It doesn't matter if he's a Christian, actually. What matters is is he coming back?...Call a spade a spade or even a muddy shovel.
C.S. Lewis's vision of purgatory was a place where milk was always boiling over, crockery smashing, and toast burning. The lesson assigned to the men was to do something about it. The lesson for the women was to do nothing. That would be purgatory for most of us. Women, especially when it comes to the love life, can hardly stand to do nothing.
(I have often had the fancy that one stage in Purgatory might be a great
big kitchen in which things are always going wrong - milk boiling over,
crockery getting smashed, toast burning, animals stealing. The women
have to learn to sit still and mind their own business: the men have to
learn to jump up and do something about it. When both sexes have
mastered this exercise, they go on to the next. ~C.S. Lewis, Collected Letters, to Mary Willis Shelburne, 31 July 1962 )
"Men want to play around. They lead us on, try to get what they can out of us, deceive us," and so on. True enough. Which is exactly why I beg women to wait. Wait on God. Keep your mouth shut. Don't expect anything until the declaration is clear and forthright.
And to the men I say be careful with us, please. Be circumspect*.
*Wary and unwilling to take risks.
The school of suffering. Christ took the course. He asks us to take it, too-but not alone. He calls us into the comradeship of fellow students, disciples, willing to undergo the rigorous program that the Father prescribes the Son.
For my loneliness, Lord- Your strength.
For my temptation to self-pity, Lord-Your strength.
For my uncontrollable longings for this man, Lord- Your strength.
(“Measure your progress by your experience of the love of God and its exercise before men…
In
contrast, servile, base, and mercenary is the notion of Christian
practice among the bulk of nominal Christians. They give no more than
they dare not withhold. They abstain from nothing but what they dare not
practice. When you state to them the doubtful quality of any action,
and the consequent obligation to refrain from it, they reply to you in
the very spirit of Shylock, “they cannot find it in the bond.”
In
short, they know Christianity ONLY AS A SYSTEM OF RESTRAINTS. It is
robbed of every liberal and generous principle. It is rendered almost
unfit for the social relationships of life, and only suited to the gloomy
walls of a cloister, in which they would confine it.
But
true Christians consider themselves as not satisfying some rigorous
creditor, but as discharging a debt of gratitude. Accordingly, theirs is
not the stinted return of a constrained obedience, but the large and
liberal measure of voluntary service.” — William Wilberforce, Real
Christianity)
It is the yielding, not the temptation itself, that is sin.
What looked to Jim like “militant morality” was
partly the knowledge that is deep in a woman that she holds the key to
the situation where a man’s passions are involved. He will be as much of
a gentleman as she requires and, when the chips are down, probably no
more, even if he has strict standards of his own. This is not
necessarily because he wants to go as far as possible. It is sometimes
from a confused sense of obligation, or even chivalry, to meet her
expectations.
"Keep your distance," I say to women. Recognize that fundamental anomaly of human nature, that we prize what we cannot easily get. We take for granted and even come to despise, that which costs us no effort.
Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention?
